Thank YOU

It’s been 2 ½ weeks since finding out the tumor that was removed with my right ovary was cancerous. The night we found out Joel was pretty shocked. Most of my friends and family were shocked. But I can’t say I was shocked. For the past year I have had a feeling— not because I am expecting the worst but just deep in my gut thinking there is something more going on that we don’t yet know. That’s not to say it wasn’t difficult. I am a verbal processor. When there is big news in my life I want to tell all my people and talk about it. The more I can get it out the more I can settle. This was the same. My first call was to my parents and shortly after a few of my closest friends. 

Over the course of the next couple of days my people never stopped showing up. Remembering all of this brings tears to my eyes. I am so thankful to the Lord for my friends and my family. I am so blessed to have you all in my life. I feel so undeserving of the love and support we have gotten. 

Thank you for the comments, messages, calls, written notes, prayers, offers to help, gift cards, encouragement, books, advice, and love. It has been slightly overwhelming in the best way. 

Thank you for showing up. Thank you for sticking money in my bible and reminding us that God provides. Thank you (mom and dad) for paying for our hotel and food and taking care of our kids. Thank you everyone who has offered to help with the kids and meet up for play dates. Thank you for taking care of my doggies. Thank you for taking care of me and my family.

God’s kindness, provision, and love have been evident to me through you. Thank you for being a living example of God’s faithfulness. 

In the book of Esther, Mordecai, Esther’s uncle, says to her “If you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will come to the Jewish people from another place, but you and your father’s family will be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this.” 

For such a time as this- I look back and see the path we took to get here. It’s not the one I would have picked but it was the right one. God had meticulously orchestrated the place and time of this major event in our lives and reminded me that perhaps, I was put here for such a time as this. Perhaps you are here, reading this blog, for such a time as this. 

In these 2 ½ weeks life has been a bit of a rollercoaster. The unknowns and navigating oncologists, and realizing the fact for the last year and a half I have had cancer. (Those words hit pretty hard when they flew out of my mouth unexpectedly while rage venting about my former doctor to my husband.) 

But through it all- it is well. Through it all God has been steady and unwavering. 

Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

God is the rock on which my life is built. Any perceived strength of mine fully belongs to Him and Him alone. It is HIS faithfulness that has me at peace and steady. It is HIS love and provision that keeps me from wandering down a road of fear. I don’t have this— but God does and because of His grace, I fully trust in Him. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments of fear but He keeps me pretty well grounded. 

If you don’t trust God, that’s okay. If you want to— Just ask Him. 

But God, who is rich in mercy, because of his great love that he had for us, made us alive with Christ even though we were dead in our trespasses. You are saved by grace! Eph 2:4-5

For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift, not from works, so that no one can boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do. Eph 2:8-10

We leave for Houston on Tuesday. The plan is for us to be there through Friday- perhaps longer depending on tests and such. I hope to update at the end of each day. You can now subscribe so that you get an email every time I post. I will have my initial appointment with my oncologist (who specializes in Granulosa Cell Tumors) and from there we will figure out what the next step will be. I don’t expect a bunch of answers but probably more tests and more waiting. 

So thank you for sitting with me in the waiting. 

Thank you for praying for me and standing in the gap. I am overwhelmed by your love and support. 

This song is my anthem right now. It's on repeat -- It is Well